Kourtney M asked:


So I’ve been with this guy for over 2 years, and I’m am so sick and tired of the way he talks to me. When he gets in a bad mood he belittles me by yelling at me and calling me awful names, like a bitch and a slut. I know I don’t deserve to be treated like this. I tell him that it bothers me when he talks to me that way, and he says he was upset and I deserved to get yelled at like the. I guess the part that hurts the most is that I love this guy with all my heart& i just can’t believe he treats me that way.

Paul

Deb asked:


My husband and I have had custody of the children (ages 5, 8 and (9) (our grandchildren) for 3 years, but have mostly raised them because of the parents’ unstable relationship. Now the parents (mostly son-in-law) feel that they want the kids back with them, which is about 4 hours away from us. But this past visit the 8-yr-old was afraid to go to the bathroom for fear that daddy would hurt mommy because they were fighting. Isn’t this emotional or mental abuse?

Greg

Sweet asked:


Besides name calling what are other signs of verbal abuse?
Do you see any signs of verbal abuse in your relationship?

Harrison

Piercarla Garusi asked:


Having worked with many clients recovering from childhood emotional abuse, and having experienced it myself, I want to share my learning with you, in the hope that it will help you be well, feel good, be happy and create the life you desire and deserve.

The most important relationship you have in your life is the one with yourself, and if you have been emotionally abused, recovering that relationship with yourself is absolutely essential.

In fact, among the consequences of being emotionally abused you might have developed depression, or anger, self-hatred, anxiety, low self-esteem, loss of identity, self-harming, social anxiety, low assertiveness, low confidence, fear, guilt, shame, self-blame, hopelessness, difficulties in putting boundaries in relationships and in social interactions, fear of people, fear of judgement.

You might not know you have rights: the right to your life, to being you, the right to choosing. And the right to likes, wants, needs, boundaries; the right to choose your beliefs, the right to like who you are, to love yourself, to treat yourself as you choose, to give yourself the worth you want. The right to choose your values and code of conduct, the right to behave as you choose, the right to do what you want, the right to live the life you want, the right to make you happy, the right to make mistakes, the right to forgive yourself.

You might be afraid that you will experience the same things you experienced in the past: but NO, the past is the past, it will NOT equal the future. Believe it! And YOU CAN DO IT!

You need to dissociate totally from the past, from what has been told you in the past, what was said back then; NOW you are going to choose everything for yourself and your life. You need to let go of the anger or hatred towards those people as it will just hold you back; you need to accept what happened as simply part of your past; and you need to find something positive in what you have experienced for which to be thankful, for example for being the person you have become.

Nothing and nobody has any power over you: you are the only one who has power over yourself, over your mind, your thoughts, your emotions, and your life.

And the process is like taking back all your power and owning your mind, your heart, and your soul: you choose who you are, you choose your thoughts, your beliefs, your values, your code of conduct, how you treat yourself, how you are going to behave, what you are going to do, how your life is going to be.

Only you choose. You are the only master of your mind, of your heart, or you soul, of your life. You are your own guru and your own leader.

You are the only one who knows what is right and good for you. Just listen inside yourself. As another consequence of being emotionally abused you might not know what is “normal”. The solution is: you need to listen inside for what “feels” right for you, trust your guts, and choose. And little by little you will develop your personality, you will think with your head and live your life on your own terms.

You will once again own who you are, be you, and develop a loving and harmonious relationship with yourself and with society.

You are going to be the only leader of your life.

What if you made TODAY the FIRST DAY of the REST of YOUR LIFE?



Caffeinated Content

Classic Bob asked:


I mean, seriously, if you’re not enjoying the relationship, GET OUT. There’s no need for the whining and sniffling about how he treats you. You’re the one that allows it, right?

Jamie

Lanley asked:


I’m 24 and I dated a man who basically had a fake relationship with me for almost 3 years. Just recently I stopped the abuse, and decided to seriously care about myself for a change. However, the relationship has left me with a whole mess of problems, mainly emotional, but i’ve also lost friends, effected my credit negatively, dropped a years worth of college classes, and lost my job, all while trying to manage and find SOME bit of normalcy in the relationship. It was a NIGHTMARE. I feel like I have screwed up my life to an extent now. And I hate myself because I can’t get those times or chances back. I don’t know what to do now. I feel so broken, lost, and low. I know my self esteem has been greatly effected by all the mess and deceiving in the relationship. What do I do now? How do I move on from such a disaster of an experience? I thought we were serious…..it was so unhealthy, he moved half of his belongings into my apt, thinking we were going to be living together, and he also tried to get me pregnant. Neither were successful.

I need help…..anyone have any ideas? The word SOCIOPATH describes my ex to a T by the way.

Kohan

maura asked:


How can I recover from emotional abuse? I was in a relationship and he treated me like a child, always telling me what to do, what to wear, basically everything! He made me feel like no one else would ever want me. He also was overly emotional and I feel that he drained me emotionally. I have turned into a very angry person. I feel at times that I can’t feel happy or sad. I also feel like I can turn off negative emotions at any time- what I believe to be a survival tactic that I learned to use during the relationship in order to not go crazy. It’s not that I lack confidence or self esteem. I have learned to build those back up. The problem is my anger and lack of emotion. I can easily get irritated and angry at anything- something that never happened to me before. I also feel kind of numb. Does anyone have similar experiences or understand this? What can I do to become the old happy me again??

Kohan

lela1026 asked:


In a relationship between a man and a woman. I am concerned primarily abuse men inflict on women in a relationship. Give an example. What is the best way for a woman to deal w/ this sort of abuse after leaving the relationship?

Bruce